13 easy steps to produce a TV reality show.
- Pick one - Singing / Dancing /copy anything from USA TV
- Pick a host - Someone who can smile better than Katrina and can expose
- Pick Idea/Airtel/Vodafone/anyone else as mobile partner for mobile voting. Every SMS viewer sends is Rs.3 , lakhs of such SMSes = crores of rupees. You make half your money there
- Pick 3 judges -
- One of them should be a failed-in-mainstream industry but has a Blood Pressure and Hypertension problem (He needs to get angry you know.) and has a weird hair-do or a beard and everyone hails him as the 'MASTER'
- One should be too-old-to-get-any-work type and silent, laid back,types but in one episode somewhere he should get angry
- One should be dumb with an IQ equivalent to that of David Dhawan so that he/she can irritate the first guy and they fight and he gets pissed off and this runs into two episodes
- Conduct a preliminary round across India and include the following
- Get one poor girl from slums to perform
- Get a physically handicapped person to perform
- Both of the above should cry at the end of the performance
- Abuse a few contestants for breaking a rule and make them angry. They should get pissed to the core and record their outburst and telecast it with beep sound wherever necessary and upload the uncensored version on youtube under the pseudonym 'Monty_212coolguy'
- Include Mothers Day Special, Fathers Day special, Diwali Special, Valentines Day special episodes and kill them with overdose of emotion in the post performance speech and ensure you make the host, judges, contestants and viewers cry. (WTF?)
- Conduct NINE semi-finals over NINETEEN weeks and in the meanwhile make as much money as possible on advertising
- All participants MUST touch the feet of EVERY judge
- One or many of them MUST wear goggles
- Use terminology like, "DANGER ZONE", "SAFETY ZONE", "GREEN ZONE" and more shit like that and make the terminology so famous that the B Com-fail girls sit on their balconies and discuss, "Haaawwwww, she is in danger zone....reyy"
- Don't forget to invite Vinod Kambli, Akshay Kumar, Bipasha Basu, Katrina Kaif, Sanjay Dutt or what's her name....Ranbir Kapoor or whoever's movie is releasing that week so they you get some money from them as well and they promote their films
- Make one person the WINNER and the next year he ends up hosting IPL Extra Innings alongside Mandira 'My-IQ Score-is-a-proper-fraction' Bedi.
10 comments:
Supppppperrrrr slapppp on the today's TV...I feel you shd get this published in some magazine or a so called newspaper???
You shd, infact...Last time you were little soft on "M" Bedi hahaha
U r a god sent boon to all the wannabes directors :) How abt writing a book on this? even better share this as a script with Mahesh Bhatt!!!
ha ha ha ha, reality beat the TV star
awesome! But you forgot to mention the one pathetic guy who the judges despise. This guy will cry at the end of every episod ,garner sympathy votes and either end up either winning or in the finals
Great one Deepak
Good flow -- a bit truncated and can have a bit more examples of the out poring melodrama.
But then this will be no different from the "Reality" Show!!!!!!
Keep it flowing -- I mean the spirits;-)
The judges should know only these comments, nothing beyond!
"Mind blowing, super, excellent and I will stand to give standing ovation!"
No technical comments needed.
Superb!!
Inka too much entante..when someone performs well...more often than not...that guy will have a sad past life and his parents sacrifices and how he managed to come to this level in life...tears...blah...blah... :P
Awesome.
Ranbir's gonna die if he reads this. hahahaha
Man
Ur too good . I cannot really comment.
I m not watching any one of them. If i see one episode also all the attributes you have mentioned were there.
Great going mate
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