Observations, here and there...The Finance Guy

Life in a corporate is not complete without having a difference of opinion with a finance guy. They are people who can screw your day and many times your job at large. They are born with a BIG 'NO' written on their soul. Their capability to become a pain in others' ass is directly proportional to their appraisal points. He makes his presence felt with negativity that can beat the South Pole. 

A typical Indian finance-head's competency lies is in spoiling relations with existing clients, creating dissatisfaction among employees and spreading melancholy in the office with his expression.The block where the finance department sits itself wears a look of a  East  European demolished war colony and they resemble the survivors.  If you meet them more often than once a week, you might suffer from chronic depression coupled with mental aberration. 

 

The most common answer for his late arrival would be, "I went to the bank," while he actually  would have gone to a bank because the MDs ATM card is not working. The MD is the only man who can make him smile. He usually has lunch alone, actually no one wants to sit with him because even there, he'll talk about some bill that went missing because of you in 1998. 

His I'm-the-savior-of-this-company attitude is quite visible because he is an eternal part of every department's meeting. All other department heads pretend to have a good relationship with him because when the crisis comes, he's the one who can save them. However, to make them work their ass off, someone invented the Audit and Annual Report. This is the only time when he is busy in his own wonderful world and the rest of the office - happy!

However, When you take him out of his barren cabin, this is how he probably will react.

• At an underwear shop, when you ask him, "which one do you want?"
• Ans: Give me the one that all departments can share and utilization is maximum
• What does he say to his would-be when he has to ask her name?
• Ans: What is your ledger number?
  
• When his wife looks at him with passion, he will say, "This month there is no budget"
• What does he say when he is highly pissed off with with his father-in-law?
• Ans: I think we should change the vendor 
• What excuse does he give to his wife and children for not taking them out?
• Ans: Today is a Bank Holiday
• At a brothel, he will ask for a 
• Invoice
• 10% Discount 
• Credit note for the discount
• PAN Card photocopy
• 45 days credit period

- Deepak Karamungikar