I'm sure you would have come across these cold blooded liars whose prevarications sometimes sweep you by your feet and later, give you hysteric laughs. His spoken English is great and that's where people get tricked. If you ask him, "Have you seen The Godfather'?", He will respond,"Ammmmazing movie man...what a classic!". When you ask him about a particular scene, suddenly his phone is in silent mode and he gets a phone call. Also, he picks it up saying, "Shit!" and says, "Shh...1 second." and vanishes for the day.
He will lie about anything. You just have to stimulate him. Such people insist on claiming that they're from a very rich family and have a class. If you ask him, "What are your hobbies?", He will reply, "My hobbies are, equitation (horse riding), scuba diving, listening to death trance". He says things which are very difficult to prove wrong. In Hyderabad, you will not find horses anywhere and neither can you scuba dive in tank bund. Death trance...forget it. But, when no one is looking, he will eat Mirchi Bajji near Manju Theater and drink special Faluda later.
When there's a cricket match, he will say, "Rahul Dravid is my cousin's close friend. He's a very reserved person...you know...". He won't be able to show you those pics which he took with Rahul because he has lost that pen-drive already and later, a monkey snatched away that camera with memory card when he went to a temple and that laptop with those photos crashed.
He has a commercial pilot license at home and has 2000 hours of flying experience, all in UK where he lived for six years with his uncle who was a businessman. You just have to ask him, "How does it feel in the cockpit?" And another cock and bull story is ready since he would have played Microsoft Flight Simulator for hours after failing in the Osmania University graduation exams.
You should see these guys flirt with women at conferences. He would start by saying, "Oh! You work with X? X knows me pretty well, We were together in Bangalore! In fact, we had beer together many times!". "It's a small world!..." he would continue and there goes another bakra.
Business meetings with such people are a feast. His introduction would be like this. "I'm X, I've been around in this industry for quite some time now (actually 3 years excluding two gaps of jobless seven months each). I've seen the ups and downs of this industry (employment and unemployment). I am an alumnus of University of California, LA (Read MSKAJ college, affiliated to Osmania University, Kukatpally). After my studies, I worked in London (Rajahmundry)for a while and then moved to Berlin (Ongole)for a special assignment. Now, here I am in India (Hyderabad), developing Emerging Markets (adding more Kirana stores to the outlet list) in this territory (Kukatpally, Miyapur and Kundapur).
The other guy, if he is smart, he will realize his mistake of talking to him. If he's one of those overzealous wannabes, there goes another bakra.
Jhoot Bole, Kawwa Kaate!
He will lie about anything. You just have to stimulate him. Such people insist on claiming that they're from a very rich family and have a class. If you ask him, "What are your hobbies?", He will reply, "My hobbies are, equitation (horse riding), scuba diving, listening to death trance". He says things which are very difficult to prove wrong. In Hyderabad, you will not find horses anywhere and neither can you scuba dive in tank bund. Death trance...forget it. But, when no one is looking, he will eat Mirchi Bajji near Manju Theater and drink special Faluda later.
When there's a cricket match, he will say, "Rahul Dravid is my cousin's close friend. He's a very reserved person...you know...". He won't be able to show you those pics which he took with Rahul because he has lost that pen-drive already and later, a monkey snatched away that camera with memory card when he went to a temple and that laptop with those photos crashed.
He has a commercial pilot license at home and has 2000 hours of flying experience, all in UK where he lived for six years with his uncle who was a businessman. You just have to ask him, "How does it feel in the cockpit?" And another cock and bull story is ready since he would have played Microsoft Flight Simulator for hours after failing in the Osmania University graduation exams.
You should see these guys flirt with women at conferences. He would start by saying, "Oh! You work with X? X knows me pretty well, We were together in Bangalore! In fact, we had beer together many times!". "It's a small world!..." he would continue and there goes another bakra.
Business meetings with such people are a feast. His introduction would be like this. "I'm X, I've been around in this industry for quite some time now (actually 3 years excluding two gaps of jobless seven months each). I've seen the ups and downs of this industry (employment and unemployment). I am an alumnus of University of California, LA (Read MSKAJ college, affiliated to Osmania University, Kukatpally). After my studies, I worked in London (Rajahmundry)for a while and then moved to Berlin (Ongole)for a special assignment. Now, here I am in India (Hyderabad), developing Emerging Markets (adding more Kirana stores to the outlet list) in this territory (Kukatpally, Miyapur and Kundapur).
The other guy, if he is smart, he will realize his mistake of talking to him. If he's one of those overzealous wannabes, there goes another bakra.
Jhoot Bole, Kawwa Kaate!
- Deepak Karamungikar
16 comments:
I wish, I really wish I could forward this to a few guys that I know. Amazing :)
Kaw Kaw Kaw... I know many suck freakshows, especially the first kind :D
Referring to the last 02-03 posts - these are people you come across in your daily life - at work, in the neighborhood etc. but you frame it so well and make it interesting for the reader with Mirchi Bajji and Faludas. You are getting better by each post my friend. Kudos.
Improvised Saleem Pheku of Hyd :)
hahahaha....
"In Hyderabad, you will not find horses anywhere and neither can you scuba dive in tank bund." Ha ha ha ha ha ha.....still laughing! Funny piece indeed. Superiority and inferiority complexes never leave each other! Has Nagesh Kukunoor read this yet? :)
hahahahaha........
Perhaps, this should be posted on each and every corporate bulletin board with multi lingual translations so as to help the BAKRAS help themselves wasting their time. One more thing that these jhootas tend to do is not let you talk, whatever comes from their mouth is Gospel and whatever we talk about is nonsense for them.
nice soft core truth abt hardcore liars.
Cracker jack of a post ,dude it should be "Brutal Facts- Hard To Digest!!!" not observatiions ,here and there.
grr8 observation...very true....written perfectly...keep going :)
Very Good:
The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark(match stick). The tongue also is a fire,among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person and sets the poor bakras life on fire.
hahahahaaaaa...
Good one Deepak...
"In Hyderabad, you will not find horses anywhere and neither can you scuba dive in tank bund." This one is too good...He would be the pakka hyderabadi Saleem faku.. :)
There goes another rib-tickling post. good job buddy
Man! u r one heck of a writer!
and i am not speaking a 'jhoot' :)
Good one!!
Fanstastic observation mama..too gud I want to send this 2 few guys in our office..:D way 2 go deepak..:)
I liked the Mirchi Bhajji & Faluda part! (Miss them!)
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