Thursday, May 20, 2010

New company blues

First few days at work are always tricky. Especially if you are not one of those, My-brother-in-law-is-the-project-lead-here or My-dad-knows-the-board-members types. You are welcomed with an E-mail and are assigned a workstation. 
  • The first day, everyone smiles and as days pass, number  of people smiling goes down  and one fine day you stop smiling
  • The HR will show you around and make you shake hands with every cabin's occupier and they all welcome you while the HR guy is having a telepathic communication with them saying, "Aur ek chutiya aa gaya dekho"
  • You are scared to open your Gmail and like a spy, you look around to see how many people on the floor have Gmails open. Later that day, you see someone senior use Gtalk and Gmail, you feel orgasmic and thus, Gmail becomes your homepage in one of the browsers.
  • The first meeting with your reporting manager and the HR begins like this, "So, welcome to XYX....Let me tell you one thing, you'll have a lot of work, but working  here is fun."We all enjoy the work here." While this is being said, you miss the sarcastic smile on the HR's face
  • You are given a welcome kit consisting of a diary, a pen and some other stationery which gets lost in three days flat 
  •  The first day, you are proud to wear your ID card around your neck. After a couple of months, you slowly wind the string around the card and put it in your pocket.
  • On day 1, whoever spoke to you the most, you realize, is the most cunning fellow
  • An orientation programme which will make you 'feel at home' is delivered by the HR guys and a rosy picture of how life will never be is shown
  • The girl in the other wing you thought was very cute sends you a marriage invitation in a few days
  • After a couple of months, you realize that the receptionist is the one who knows everything about everyone
  • The MD or CEOs personal assistant is the most irritating and listens to nobody
  • At the cafeteria, on the table, the person who you have lunch with on day 1, 2 and 3, remains a friend forever.
 - Deepak Karamungikar

15 comments:

Achala said...

You took me six years down memory lane :P

Aditya said...

sexy, very profound, this happened to me twice :P

Milana said...

This is amazing!!! I was just recollecting all this happen to me 4 yrs back as I read through your post. Wonderful...

Gunni said...

liked it.

AK(Anirudh Koppula) said...

hahhhaha... absolutely bulls eye!!!

i loved the first thing that happens
"the smile" hahaha

Anonymous said...

hahaha!
few things to take note of..

Sumitra said...

Nice post, though you'd prefer to censor it with * where applicable ;)

Sainath said...

superb deepak
the HR part was very good. loved it.

Deepak's post a day keeps doctor away :)

Harishankar said...

Deepak

U sit in ur house and think about what to write.

Really really nice .

Keep on writting mate.

Meena said...

The id card is more like the noose that's going to wring your neck in the days to come! Good one. :)

Ravi said...

everybody says every thing, nothing remains for me to appriatiate u,
nice work mama, its became part of my routine to do first thing at my work is reading ur posts.. :)

aayanman said...

So what else does one expect ?

Join an office, and be told by HR that dude you are so screwed.
You must be a freaking moron to join us.

Told by cunning colleagues - you better not do well - lest i lose my promotion.?

Told by cute girl - you know what lets run away..save me from the big bad world.

Told by cabin wallas - dont even dream of getting in here you miserable meaningless low life - go slog 15 years and then we'll talk.

ha ha ha !

am sure you get the drift...
jokes apart,you see everything happens for a reason.Every farce that you face has a dark truth behind it.So dont try to stir the hornets nest.It just might come back to haunt you.

the fact is earning money will never be easy.It never was ,it never will. so be prepared to brace the challenges whether it is company politics or quantum work or deadly deadlines...you ve got to do it..coz guess what...if you dont...someone else will...

-
cabinwalla manager ! :-P

Varun said...

"After a couple of months, you realize that the receptionist is the one who knows everything about everyone" - How true!

rajasekhar said...

Every ones' Dejavu...

Unknown said...

Amazingly done up bhai. This one deserves a standing ovation. Though all of us relate with it, it takes only a few chosen ones who can translate their thoughts / experiences into words. A big Thumps Up ( and when am at it, A majestic Biryani) for the post.