On the internet and especially on social networking sites, self-obsession sometimes crosses all limits. You often get to see user ids from ugly girls like cool_angel_cutie, hot_girl4u and sweety_pie. And awful looking guys have ids like handsome_hunk_69, i_am_theking84, smartboy_cool02 and so on. These are the ids which people use in their resumes as well when they apply for call center jobs. When you look at their Orkut profile, their name would be written as $%^^@#%^&*& *(&**&^%% (read Santosh Kumar) or ® @(&*&^%$%$ (read Rakesh). I still wonder, Where they get these characters from?
The 'about me' section is mostly filled with meaningless superlatives. You will get to see "I am a cooooooooooooool fun loving guy" or "I am a lovely n cute n naughty n decent gal " from XYZ city and they all 'love making' new friends. Everyone is a 'down to earth' person and 'takes life easy' and 'is always chiilllllllllin' and so on. This part also includes a Shayari which is plagiarised from the hind side of a truck and will have words like Dil, Deewana, Manzil, Sanam, Chand, Khafa, Wafa and Bewafa. Sometimes, there is English shayari like, "Hit me but don't hurt me, Love me but don't hate me, Kiss me but don't miss me, Life is so cool, you are my phool "
Patterns with ASCII text are also common which appear like silhouettes of female anatomy, much like dubbed B-grade Indian semi-porn movie posters they display on walls of a public urinal in small towns. Their status update usually is, "Nach Baliye rocksssssszzzzzz" or "Livin on the edge....feel my love.... " or "Zayed Khan is soooo cuttteeeeee" and more intellectually disarming things like that.
Friend requests are sent by guys in the most atrocious manner. A married female friend of mine, recently got a request which said, "Hi XYZ, I wanna make frenzzz with u, i stay in Hyderabad and my number is ......". This guy was being very modest. Often, these requests read, "Heyyyyyyyyy xxx, h r u? i am yyy frm zzz...i belive in true frnship and wanna be frenzzz...you are intrsted???...waitin..." or "Niceeeeee piccc, wannna be friendhsip?"
Super-shit communities like "I don't take bath everyday", "I have no balls", "I was born on 30th of February", "I have pimples", "I like to fart when no one's around" etc. with 65,000 members in it and spam messages about earning 5,000$ every week are sent. These communities, usually become host to racial abuse and regionalism.
Failed techies with single-digit-IQ make applications like "Enemy of the day", "Which Pussycat doll are you?", "Which breed of dog are you", etc. Testimonials on Orkut among this group are bartered - you scratch mine and I'll scratch yours. "He's a cooooool dude, keep rockkking, etc." along with loads of ASCII text soft porn.
Their 'my idea of a first date' is 01/01/2010 and 'Ideal Match' is India Vs Pakistan.
- Deepak Karamungikar
11 comments:
Nothing but Social Networking Zombies....what do say Deepak !
lol. i wonder how many of those 'about me's are atleast 10% true (including mine :D)
lol hahaha...i guess you've been little smooth this time when compared all your recent scribbles!!!
Still dn't understnd the "What kind of animal are you?" hahahaha....etc etc
Awesome post.
You want to be frandship with me? :D
These social networking guys are to be renamed as Orkutiyas :D
Awesome post I)eEpAk :P ... Excellent narration especially "hind side of a trunk" buri nazar wale tera moo kala hahahhaha
"you scratch mine and I'll scratch yours".... ha ha ha ha..superb one..
I HAD to share this "i always think life is the other name of friendship, and it is not simple to maintain, i think friendship is hole open Responsibility & relationship to share ur life aspects both at the time of happiness & some problem, neither seeing their their religion, caste, age & gender, its is not a simple words i m speaking, its ur wish to have friendship with me, hope to be my friendship, i got god greatest gift in my life, well its my thinking."
very true.....the best one "You want to be frandship with me?"
keep going :)
I remember the first time i got those weird creepy requests on Orkut..those were the days when Orkut had horrible privacy settings..and I got this cheesy request which went something like "Hi i am 5 fut 6 inch tall fair and curly haired...I would like to be your boddy (read buddy).Call me on so and so number at 11 pm. Cant speak before that coz my mom is around. and i went WTF.
Nice post! :D :)) and yes did come across quite a few of those 'ideal match' and irritating about me's!
Man, thatn About Me part is so true... And I do know fellas whose ideal match is indeed India vs. Pakistan !!!
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