Friday, May 7, 2010

Observations, here and there...Loverboys

There are a few guys who go to any extent to please their girlfriend. The other day on Tank Bund, I saw a well dressed man with a company id card around his neck bow down and touch his girl's feet with his forehead. Actually, he should have jumped in Tank Bund before murdering his ego. Anyway, these kind of guys are very funny at times. Such feelings of self-destruction usually begin when he pataos the girl and she accepts BUT subject to certain conditions. This is where a man dies his first death. And these conditions,  have less logic than Harry Potter's magic tricks. Some of them are:
  • I need some space (I have male friends)
  • I don't appreciate cricket much (You can't watch cricket anymore)
  • Bangalore is my favorite city (You can't live with your parents after marriage)
  • Weekends should be full of fun (Budget for Rs. 2000 per weekend) and many more.
Thereafter, there are many blunders he commits in due course of time. He does the down- on-the-knees-with-a-rose in the hand almost every time they meet. Days on which he doesn't have to do it implies that he has given her some gift that day. Even in a three month old relationship and after nine fights, there's a lot of crap like, "I can do anything to make you smile" (another 500 bucks). 

When out at some hi-tech mall,  his 23 year old lady love will act like a seven year old girl and say, "I want this ice-cream" and jump three times exercising her 83 kg body and burning 72 calories. And this idiot, with a joyous feeling in his heart, says, "ok dear, take anything you like" and take out his wallet with grandeur that could put a prince to shame while deep inside, he wished she had something cheaper. So, to adjust that cost, he will have just a Sprite and says, "I just had lunch!" while his soul starves inside. 

Madly-in-love with a mad girl, he will take permission for everything from her. Things get so shady at times, he will ask, "I want to go out with my friends tonight, so....I'll have a..ONLY ONE BEER, I promise!" And when she okays his request, he will send an SMS to all his friends, "Dude, I got permission today!" and repeat the same line again when he meets them and 'high fives' with his friends as if he has scored 99 percentile in CAT. And when he  ends up drinking five beers and in the night, she calls and he doesn't pick up, he'll have to buy another teddy bear (her 5th one) at a China Bazaar store for 99 Rupees and give it to her along with a red rose, a SORRY greeting card, a chocolate and a promise that he will not commit the crime again. However, next Saturday, same story repeats and the next Monday, another set of gifts and another lie. 

These nincompoops have another silly habit. They live telecast everything that's going on when she calls. A typical commentary begins like this, "Hi Sweety (ha ha ha), I am with X at Lifestyle.   He wanted to buy something, so I came. He has gone to try a jeans, oh wait, he just came out. Jeans is blue in color and has the same fit like my black jeans which we bought (I bought) last time....I think it is tight in his groin area..yes..very tight...He will have to change it.... He went inside again..... So, what else happened...Here there are many girls around....one of them is looking at me (lies)....Now we will start from here in another 30 minutes.....we will have lunch.....Now its not possible...everyone around...ok I LOVE YOU (whispers  after covering the mouth with hand).....so what else.....so what else.....so what else...." As this conversation goes on and on, the poor friend who sought his friend's company is left lonely - He pays the bill, carries the stuff, starts the bike and drives on.

- Deepak Karamungikar

13 comments:

AK(Anirudh Koppula) said...

Loserboys...wouldve been an apt title hahahaha.... :)

Bulls eye...

Sainath said...

this is one of your best mama.

these are awsome
Have less logic than Harry Potter's magic tricks.
I can do anything to make you smile.
jump three times exercising her 83 kg body and burning 72 calories.
I want to go out with my friends tonight, so....I'll have a..ONLY ONE BEER, I promise!.

rajasekhar said...

Death Note for.. Most of the Lover Boys...

Aditya said...

ha ha ha, the drinking sprite was epic :D

Kamal Rathi said...

ekdum sahi hai, aisa hi chal raha hai aaj kal. keep them coming

Vijayakumar Madhira said...

Great one --- keep it flowing in as always!

Guess I can add to that -- buying a whole lot of Cadbury's Dairy Milk bars with the sodexho coupons that he has -- literally falling for the advt which says that "Dairy Milk is the perfect gift for the one you love"! The guy thinks that this is the only way that to manifest his love.

Another addition to this (based upon observation) --- the love couple stand in front of an ice-cream cart/kiosk. Great dialogues follow thereafter.

He: "Have an ice-cream".
She: Makes a face and says - "Too many calories, Baba. putting on weight"!
He: "Have one - I'll share it with you". (Very endearingly persuasive.)
She: "Ookay. 50,50"
He asks for one from the vendor --- (again her choice of flavor), hands it over to her whilst making the payment. By the time he pays, takes the change and turns around all that is left of the ice-cream is the container/ wrapper for him to dispose off in the nearest dust bin. Very concerned about ecology -- all waste needs to go into the dustbin. So he searches for one, walks down and returns back to waiting girl who tells him coyly that the ice-cream was yummy (awesome) and that they can be back for one more later!!!

Anubhav Chatterjee said...

bro...nice observation....girls really fall for these guys who stoop down in front of them.

Radhakrishna said...

just like the corp white elephants :)

Venkat Parthasarathy said...

Awesome... awesome...

The stand out lines...


buy another teddy bear (her 5th one) at a China Bazaar store for 99 Rupees.
I LOVE YOU (whispers after covering the mouth with hand)


To add a few more....

* The text messages counting the number of I love you sent... saying... "I said I love you 72 times - you said only 64 times... what re you dont love me as much I do"

* Talking about her best friend... "You know I like her soooo much... Hey are you 'J'"... he just learnt that J stands for jealous the previous day and wanted to use it

* .... and the classic Good Morning Call... "I saw you in my arms in my dream last night... we were you know...ummmm..." full too phekra

* Then the flattery continues with... "You know we both have so much in common... Yesterday you wore blue - I wore blue.. today you wore Brown - I wore Brown... so much love - so much co-incidence" Wondering what she will wear tomorrow ... iss ke paas do hi colour ke kapde hai

Harishankar said...

Deepak

I just do not like this blog. Since action reply.

Hope u would have understood by now.

Manas said...

In today's scenario,in case of relationships and marriages, Husband/Boy Friend is a monetary partner and Girl friend/Wife is a physical partner and marriages/live-in/love stories are legal license to have sex.Platonic love is replaced with materialistic love.Love has become LUV.Love also is coming up in sachets(SKUs).

Write here write now said...

The parallels you draw are simply funny. Keep blogging.

Me Inc said...

...everyone around...ok I LOVE YOU (whispers after covering the mouth with hand)

HA HA HA...Laughed my lungs out..Great post !