Castaways

Most of us have been through college and the rest of you will be there soon. If you stop for a moment and let your mind sneak into the past, you will find there was always this guy who had girls around him all the time. I always wondered how these guys manage to get so much estrogen around them. Finding the reasons and researching this subject is as pointless as waiting for a maiden over from Ajit Agarkar. However, I will give it a shot. 

While I was having lunch today at Kritrunga, I saw a guy who had come with another guy and four girls. This guy, sat in between two girls and was trying really hard to impress, I don't know which of those four. He cracked about 6 jokes including putting the plate on his head rolling his eyes in order to look funny before their food arrived and for each of those jokes, he was the only one who laughed. I am sure his moments of joy lasted only till the bill arrived. However, as I walked back to office, I remembered a few of such characters from the past. 

In my Intermedia, I knew of a guy who refused to share the petrol cost with a friend and quoted family problems but the same day bought a dairy milk family pack to give it to a girl who he never saw after college. He was always found in female company. Me and my friend later learned that he wrote the lab records for three of his girl-friends for three full years. Today he is 33 and is unmarried and all his female friends are on his Facebook friends list. What a fucking waste of opportunities.

And then there was another who used to hang out with the girls so much that even if one of them went to the toilet, he would hold her chunni/dupatta and wait outside. There is so much display of platonic affection that if let's say someone falls sick, there's spoon feeding happening during lunch time and if someone is crying, there's hair caressing and shoulder offering that happens. It is an insult to your intelligence to believe that there is no jerking off happening later at home. 

Another thing that pisses me off is the nicknames these girly boys get. Suddenly one day, all girls start calling him 'Chinnu'. And he nods his head like the decorated bull that comes to your doorstep on the next day of Sankranti. He will do their work, bring samosas for them, drop them home without expecting a thanks, everyday and buy chocolates for them when he is angry with them. 

The saddest part of their lives is that there are beautiful experiences that they missed out being with guys in a gang. While he was sitting in the canteen secretly stealing glances of her cleavage but pretending to do combined study, the other guys were getting a high playing cricket. While he attended the class just because the girls are attending, the other guys were throwing strips of newspapers in the air and screaming and dancing on the first day of a movie in a theater.

While he was showing off his smart alecness  to the girls, he missed out on being smart. 

- Deepak Karamungikar


Note: No intention to hurt women/girls. Just that it is a guy thing.