Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Value Added Services (18+)

There is nothing more stupid than the Value Added Services  (VAS) offered by Mobile Companies. Why is it they are able to offer calls at 1/2 paisa. 1/5 paise and now FREE. It is because, revenue from talk-time is of least significance. Neither am I interested in researches nor am I a journalist to furnish any data to support that statement. I am also plain lazy to find out the numbers at this moment. But one thing I can tell you is that Telecom companies and their partner VAS services providers are born to fuck you and the Indian Telecom subscriber fraternity at large. 


Earlier this month, Sriram became the Indian Idol. Great. 2-3 days of news coverage on jobless TV channels, he went back to his school, sang a couple of songs, waved at everyone, traffic jam for one day in Bowenpally and then, that's it. Over. Two months later, nobody remembers him apart from random degree college girls who have joined his community on Orkut. In the process, did you know that the mobile company made crores and crores of rupees @ Rs. 3 per SMS. And we had even chief ministers asking people to vote for that singing competition. My question is how the fuck does any  nincompoop with a mobile phone watching TV at home know if someone is a good singer? Ninety percent of them can't tell Kumar Sanu from Abhijeet. If it is a God damn singing competition, let experts be the judge and not any random dude who never buys music legally. And no matter who wins Indian Idol, it is the Telefuckingcom company that is winning in the end. Public Voting is a fraud. It is a huge money laundering fraud. It is a lottery ticket with no prize announcement. 





Added to their already dirty fucked-up atrociously detestable character traits, News Channels make you 'THINK' and give out your 'OPINION' on SMS polls. Same shit as above applies here. They are sucking away money from us. It may not make a difference to you or me at all if you send just one SMS. But, SMSes from crores of people do make a difference, in their revenue. Here you feel happy that your view got counted and a suit-clad neatly combed pig thanked you for sending the SMS. But that owner guy and  his Telecom partner is laughing his ass off to the bank. My question is, why provide phukat-ka-revenue to anyone? 

They also offer something called Voice-Portal which is a truckload of elephant shit. Call a recording machine at Rs 6 per minute and no purpose at all. Which mindless prick wants to listen YEAH FUCKING LISTEN to songs at Rs. 6 per minute? Imagine a poor uneducated worker who recharges for Rs.50 every month, by mistake dials to that number owing to the promotional SMS, or that recorded call and listens to the song, imagine the shock he experiences after he checks his balance later. I have seen a man like that. A painter who painted my cousin's house experienced the same. He had a bad mood for five days after that horrible experience. Voice-portal is a cleverly designed trap to dig people's wallets with cellphone-tower sized dicks and leave  large holes behind. 

In the name of Exciting Ringtones, Caller Tunes, Cool Wallpapers, Hot Babes, Vastu Alerts,  Cricket Alerts (15-mins late), Stock Market tips  (FAILED), Beauty Tips (WTF,  Yeah!), Health Tips, Film Gossip,  Love Tip (Yeah, there are people who believe in Love tips, dicks.), News Alerts (WOW, as if TV wasn't enough) and many such good-for-wiping-your-ass-if-they-were-at least-paper packages, what happens is that you get jerked off  rupee by rupee. 

Anyway, these are my thoughts, if you want to let me know your thoughts, you can SMS me on  ......... :P

- Deepak Karamungikar

8 comments:

AK(Anirudh Koppula) said...

Opinion SMS? Holy Crap

I never understand that option "can't say" hahahaha...Either its has to be "Yes" or "No"...

When it's "Can't Say" just Don't Say, Shut Up...hahaha

Hopeless Creatures making Money out of complete nonsense!!!


Caller Tunes - I daily get a call you have won this and that...i immediately implement my Anger Management!!!

Radhakrishna said...

true, i never even cared to send an sms, dont understand how ppl cant see whts staring at their faces

pavan said...

good post but i think just give a thought to change the theme may be it is too dark

Aditya Kasavaraju said...

Haha that was hilarious and written well.Frustration written all over mate!!

The business is that way. The Dance program happens because they get good ad revenue and money from service providers. The service providers make huge profit from the sms's. What do we get? A hole in our pocket only to admire some nitwit praising some young ( aspiring) singer. I sometimes don't blame those young singer, at least they are looking for a career.

I hate these already established singers and music directors who aren't worth a paisa and yet become judges! Pathetic man!

Harishankar said...

Just nail in the coffin. But this time indecency creeping in your language.

My Deepak uses fuck these many times.

Just a thought

Regards
Harishankar

Anish said...

Isn't this a ridiculous rant? Let the morons send the INR 3\SMS and you enjoy ur INR 0.05\min calls. The mobile company stays afloat in this crazily competitive market and continues to offer you your innumerable free calls and smses.

Even in the US, ppl still have to pay for incoming calls. (Yes, we had to pay too, back in 1995, around 6 Rs. a min. i think)

You may step into a restaurant with a 500 INR coffee once, but if you go back again, either ur stupid, masochistic, or filthy rich. In any scenario, you deserve to get ripped off.

Seriously, we have the lowest cost of mobile usage in the world.

It is true, you can never please everyone all of the time, no matter what u do!

Nope, I don't work for a mobile company.

Deepak said...

@Anish - Thanks for posting your thoughts. Your opinion is highly appreciated.

- Deepak Karamungikar

Praveen said...

Deepak,

Good post...
Every night at 10:30 PM in a populuar music channel in telugu is conducting a bludy program to identify a photo graph. Please dont call that number..If anyone calls they will be charged 20 Rs Per minute.That call will not connect to you as they are giving more money(More than 5000).That too that anchor used to do some over actions till the program ends.
This is my sincere advise to all my friends who reads this post.I never watched this kind of bludy program on telugu small screen.

Deepak: Excellent post.

People need to realise by this post.I forwarded your blog's link to all my friends(especially for this post)