Side Effects of Globalization

Open door economic policy has brought in many foreign companies into India. This has resulted in higher spending rates among the working class Indians. I appreciate the fact that it helps our economy, we evolve, etc. Apart from the great things about globalization, there are a few things which irk me to the bones. I thought I'd share some of these fucktarded practices that are rampant these days. 

• Multiplex Culture: I will not talk about the movie ticket prices but, look at everything else. I am not being a communist here, but think about it. Rs. 100 for popcorn? Fuck off. Rs. 50 for a soft drink? Double fuck off.  Rs. 25 for water bottle. I have no words. I have abandoned BIG Cinemas for the same reason. They don't allow water bottles from outside. even if it is bought at the Big Bazaar which is just under its ass. Just in case, If someone's choking to death in BIG cinemas, you will have to go get a water bottle for Rs. 25 and then give it to him, if he stays alive by that time. Also, common water fountains are not available. And the crap that you eat there and no water will cause constipation which you will suffer from anyway because of movies from K Faggot Jo, Ranbir P Kapoor, Plastic Kaif and Uday maximum-one-week-run Chopra. 

• Shopping Malls: I would define a shopping mall as 'a place where most people spend money which they in the first place didn't deserve to buy things that they hardly need and satiate a desire that never was worth it'. Branded clothes are OK. My problem is with the accessories. In a Levi's store, a Jeans, a Shirt,  a Belt and a bag (very dirty one) cost almost the same.  How on earth is that possible? The other day, I saw socks that cost Rs. 900 a pair. Even if I had a million, I wouldn't buy that pair. Also, it is not even possible to show them off! Guys, I think this haphazard pricing is a scathing remark on anybody's intelligence.

• Stupid Restaurants: Concept restaurants are a sure way of money burning. I am not talking of the high end multi-cuisine restaurants - let them be. I am talking about the K Fucking Cs of the world. What kind of a restaurant is the one in which even after spending 500 rs, you go back home unsatisfied and on the way back home secretly eat Pani Puri for 20 rs so that at least your stomach is full? The No. 1 dumbfuck restaurant in my opinion is MAMUs. It is one sure way of making MAMUs out of you by passing off pakodas as some kind of Malaysian Crap. Second is the Mc Donalds. Why? Blandest food. Causes Constipation. I hate 400 ml of soft drink and your bloody tasteless burger is shit compared to would-have-been Sania Mirza's Universal Bakery's burger. In all my visits to KFC, I have never come out satisfied. Your corn flour coated chicken (?) aka Original bullcrap Recipie sucks.  And nothing can beat the so called dumbfuck COMBO offers in retardedness.  Rice + chicken+ coke combo is like having having Himesh Reshamiya and Asha Bhosle sing in the same song. The Pizza parade - Dominos, Pizza Hut and Pizza Corner also join the league of extraordinarily dumb restaurants. Bad taste. No matter what you do, Pizza and soft drinks for two will never be below Rs. 400/-. Pizza Den near Paradise, Secunderabad sells GREAT pizzas for one-third the price and his ice-cream will almost drown you. In any case, for just 120 bucks, I'd go to Astoria hotel, RTC X Roads and eat a SPICY HOT Biryani and be super satisfied. 

• Supermarkets: We shop here because we are all super fools paying 20% more for things we don't need. Did you notice that the 200gm, 1/2 kg, 1kg packs of anything are mostly out of stock and only the 2kg and above packs are available? Well, it is designed so. You are being forced to buy more and stock it in your home. And you anyway won't use more than what you need. At one point, you will throw the rest away and get another super-large pack of packaged bullshit. Convenience is a factor I admit they  draw me to them, but answer this - why should anyone need a 1 kg box of Kurkure? This is what is called super-chutiyagiri of supermarkets. 

• Gaming Zones: Gaming Zones are places where girlfriendless/boyfriendless guys of all ages bunk college/school waste dad's money in futile fictitious gunfights, smoke cigarettes, abuse each other online and offline, learn new swear words and come back the next day and continue until one day exam results are out. Bowling Alleys, fuck no what an absolute waste of money. 200 bucks, 6 chances? Boy do we realize we have wisdom very scarcely scattered?

• Coffee Shops: This is my pet peeve. Though the basic coffee here is great and many of my important meetings were held at these coffee shops, I detest their Menus. I can't resist the anguish that's filled in me and urges me to complain. Last time, at Cafe Coffee Day, since it was a hot day, I had a cold drink which tasted like Rooh Afza.  I still don't understand why you have Samosa on your Menu. There are enough Marwadi sweet shops which sell Samosas. Also, the waiters ask derogatory questions like "Would you like to add Whipped Cream?" every time you order coffee.

All said, this a list which can go on. I only feel that one should pay only what the product deserves and not pay for their a/c, lighting and fund the owner's expensive car.


- Deepak Karamungikar