How to spot an MBA

It is very easy to spot an MBA. Follow the steps and bingo!

1. Ask him about his college, He will call it INSTI
2. Ask him about his teachers, He will call them PROFS
3. Ask him to get into an auto-rickshaw, he will call it a RICK
4. Ask him about good habits, he will call it BEST PRACTICES
5. Ask him about his consent, he will call it BUY-IN
6. Ask him about his strengths, he will call it CORE COMPETENCIES
7. Ask him about his work, he will call it DELIVERABLES
8. Ask him about any industry, he will call it ECO SYSTEM
9. Ask him about what his company doesn't offer, he will call it END TO END
10. Ask him for minor details, he will call it GRANULARITY
11. Someone wants to give him a warning, he will say HEADS UP
12. To take advantage means, LEVERAGE
13. Ask him if he's involved too, he will say I'M IN THE LOOP
14. When he has no answer, he will say, LETS TAKE IT UP OFFLINE
15. When he has no idea of what's happening in his company, he would say, THERE'S A SHIFT OF PARADIGM
16. When he wants people to work for him, he says, YOU HAVE TO BE PROACTIVE
17. When he has a difference of opinion, he is asked to SYNERGIZE
18. When he wants to get in touch again, he says, I'LL TOUCH BASE
19. If he is attending a cocktail party, it means it is a WIN WIN situation
20. When something is not available in Begum Bazaar, he calls it WORLD CLASS
21. When he explains his love problems to friends, he will use a SWOT ANALYSIS
22. Any problem in life after an MBA is called a BOTTLENECK
23. He thinks everything including domestic help's absence can be solved by a CASE STUDY APPROACH
24. For calculating 2 x 4, he will use EXCEL and color the first row and bold the letters
25. When his wife keeps the house clean and cooks well, that day he will call it TOTAL QUALITY MANAGEMENT
26. When someone asks him, what is work-life balance, he will say, it is NULL AND VOID
27. If you ask him, was your decision of doing an MBA right? he will reply, I'LL GET BACK TO YOU

- Deepak Karamungikar