The Pussification of the Modern Indian Male

Note: This post contains crude and recklessly used expletives. You may leave if you don't wish to read such posts. 

Since time immemorial, the male has been the head of a family among most humans. The man used to hunt, he used to fight, he was brave and was strong. Even in the ancient and medieval civilizations, you always hear brave stories about Men accomplishing tasks unheard of, they scaled newer peaks and bravery and courage had no limits. 

In India, even upto the 1970s and 80s, men were strong and had some qualities that they could boast of. The way men carried their pride in 1990s is still talked about. Ever since we entered the era of globalization, Indian male has lost his way. Wrong priorities, Continuous decrease in levels of common sense, increasing stupidity and computers have caused men to behave like complete assholes. Let us look at why - 

• In the 1990s and 2000s, when I was growing up, when a friend asked you to get ready to go out somewhere, all you had to do was wear chappals and get going. Now, the process has changed. Now the friend calls, then SMSes the change in the timing. In the meanwhile, this guy will wash his face with NIVEA for MEN and then apply Shah Rukh Khan's cream on his face, then apply gel on his head to give his hair a hard-on, sprays AXE deodorant hoping to attract some future call center employee's attention, plugs his iPOD into his ears and plays Akon on it.  Then, he waits for his friend. And then they go out. What are you? fucking pussy. 

• Everybody wants to look good. I agree. But it doesn't mean you spend Rs. 3000 per month on keeping your hair straight. You have curly hair means you have curly hair. Don't rape your hair and do things which make it look like as if ten Gautam Bhimanis are hanging from your head. 

• While I respect the fact that guys as young as 20-22 are earning money and supporting and in some cases starting their families, I hate the over-confidence that oozes out of his ass hole when he speaks. These days, men are covering their faces, heads and almost everything with a scarf. If at 22, you are afraid of the effects of pollution on your skin, then you are like a clitoris that cannot convolute. Then these drivers, especially two-wheeler drivers who wear three layers of head gear before wearing a helmet for the fear of hair-damage that leaves a bandanna knot hanging like a goat's testicle behind your neck - fuck you too.

• I remember my cousin telling me that in 1980s, love used to happen just with eyes. Boys and Girls, just used to look at each other for months and not say anything. On the other hand, a long stare could induce gang-wars. But now, we know of men who walk up to their cabin which is about 2 kms from the main door wearing sun-glasses even when it is dark outside and ensure that maximum people see them. Teeny boppers have started wearing sun-glasses at malls. Pricks even watch movies with their sunglasses on I guess. But you fools, a man's masculinity first lies in his eyes. Don't hide in your pick-any-Rs-100-sunglasses. Eyes in the past have undressed, not Ray-Bans. Be a man, show your eyes.

• We have read that Men in the past could sacrifice their life to keep their word. People would swear by such men of honor. Today, we have men who violate traffic rules as easily as they masturbate. Men have lost patience - They drive a two-wheeler on the footpath because there's a jam on the road. Men have no common sense - They know that an iPad is useless but they still want it. Men have no respect for themselves - They spend Rs. 1000 for a girl's birthday gift but argue at the parking for Rs. 10. Men have no sense priority - they speak harshly to their mother but are sweet to a stranger. 

This post can never end. But stage by stage, inch by inch, as days pass by, Men are losing all qualities that made them men apart from what lies between their legs. Over these years, this process can be termed as 'The Pussification of the Modern Indian Male.'

- Deepak Karamungikar

(The term Pussification was first used by George Carlin.)