I am glad to announce to you that this is my 100th post on Echoes. And the last few months have been amazing. I thank all my blog readers for pushing me past this milestone. Last evening, I was having a discussion with a friend about this concept called 'Whatever happens, happens for good'. I remember that in my other blog, 'Stochastic Chronology' (blog now offline as the book was published), I had written a personal experience on the same topic. I wanted that post to be the 100th post on 'Echoes' because it is one of my favorite posts and also one of my first.
Here it goes -
Whatever happens, happens for good
I was 8 years old when we shifted to the North-eastern part of Hyderabad which was pretty much a suburb in 1991. It was indeed a very emotional moment for me 18 years back. All of us cried when we left our home where our family had lived for over 25 years. For me, it meant only one thing. I will not be able to play marbles, fly kites, play I Spy with my friends. I had 4 friends to be precise Rahul, Anand, Praveen and Vijay Gangadar. Rahul was an immediate neighbor. Anand was the son of a rich doctor. Both of the Maharashtrians - like me. But Vijay Gangadhar and Praveen were from a Telugu families. Praveen was the son of a goldsmith. I was in touch with him until I was in college.
But, Vijay Gangadhar was the most popular among all of us. He was the leader and Anand didn't like him for that. For 9-10 year olds, leadership was too much to understand, but the guy who had the final say in what game to play was the leader!
I shared a very special relationship with Vijay. He always let me have more marbles. He gave me whatever I asked including his tennis ball, his toys, his stickers, etc. In fact I remember, there was this bubble gum called BIG FUN which used to have a cricketer's photo inside the wrapper. Whenever we purchased two BIG FUNs, he let me keep his wrapper too. He liked me. Last memories that I have of him are that we, for the first time had gone to eat Pani Puri in front of Shanti theatre in Narayanguda and we shared 4 pani puris each for a rupee.
We had vacated the house in 1991. My paternal aunt and her family moved into the same house in 1994. And, I got a reason to visit that place again and again. During these visits which were as rare as once every 4 months, over the years only helped the distance between my old pals grow. In fact I remember when I was in the 9th Standard, Anand didn't even ask me to come in and spoke to me sticking his head out of the door for a minute and shut it. I never understood why people took some old friends so easily, but I didn't mind. Rahul was a bookworm and his mom never allowed him out of the house.
But this story is of a boy called Vijay Gangadhar. His affinity towards me made him come home everyday. Nobody in my house liked him as he was not a very disciplined child and they warned me against playing with him. But once out of the house, I was with him - always. He met me almost everytime I went to my Aunt's place - my old home. Until one day in 10th Standard, when I visited his place, I saw his dad beating him with a long cane. He hit him atleast 35 blows and kept abusing him. His mom came out to me and said, "Your friend has started stealing money from home. God knows what he is doing with that money." As Vijay lay moaning and crying in pain, his dad kept kicking him. I was scared. I walked away and kept thinking about it for many days. I never went to see him again.
Later, my aunt revealed that Vijay had started taking drugs and was caught with some local ragpickers. I was surprised because Vijay was sharp, he was good at school and was the fastest runner among all of us. I kept wondering what had happened of a cheerful young boy. My aunt warned me against meeting him and so did my dad when he came to know of this. I spoke to Praveen and asked him if he knew something about this. Praveen said, "After you left, we slowly stopped meeting. Anand's dad got richer and he left all of us. Rahul is with his books always. And my mom would kill me if I met Vijay. "
Years passed by and I only kept hearing from my aunt and my cousins how Vijay got into trouble multiple number of times. There were stories that he was caught many times sniffing chemicals, injecting drugs into his body, smoking weird leaves, etc. He would collapse on footpaths after strong doses, etc. Local police station visits were routine for him.
This was the time when I had given up thinking about Vijay. I felt he was a lost cause now and any contact with him will not be appreciated by my parents.
Many years later, in 2002, I had gone to watch a Telugu movie called 'Manmadhudu'. It was in Shanti theater, the same one where I had my first pani puri with Vijay. I looked at the pani puri man who had grown old and smiled to myself. In the interval, as I came out with my friend Sarathy, a lean, unshaved untidy man with a pale complexion walked upto us and asked for a match box. As my friend handed him the matches and he lit up his cigarette, I noticed that his pants were unzipped. I told him, "Boss, your zip". He held his cigarette in his mouth and pulled up his zip. I keenly observed this man and suddenly realized that it was my childhood friend Vijay. He was in tatters. His eyes were about to pop out. He was in a semi-conscious state. He didn't recognize me at all. But, I wanted to. Then, something at the back of my mind stopped me. I just observed him and saw that he was shivering and was taking long drags from his cigarettes. He lit up another one, said something to himself, made a couple of gestures to himself, nodded his head, said, "Thuuuu" and put his hand on his forehead and walked away.
I wanted to speak to him. But, I was scared. I do not know why I felt the need to avoid any conversation with him. Later that day, I called up Praveen who told me that Vijay had lost his sanity and was completely dependent on drugs. In fact, their family had shifted from that lane unable to bear the insults. Vijay had stopped recognizing people and only thing he lived for were drugs. Chemical, Natural, Medicinal of whichever way it comes - he was always high. Three rounds of rehabilitation had no impact on him. His father was tired of beating him up and had given up on him. Vijay's mother had told this story when she came to buy some gold ornament for her daughter. Praveen's father had told him the story over dinner one day.
The picture of my last meeting with Vijay stayed in my mind for a long time. In 2003, I got admission into an MBA course and as life was going good, one day in the newspaper I read a headline
20-year old dies of head injury. Drug Overdose suspected.
The article below this headline made no sense to me as I knew what would have happened. I felt bad for a while, but then, it had to happen.
8th July 2009.
6 years after this news and 18 years after we had left the old house, my cousin is getting married and I am here at my aunt's place - my old house. As I look up to the old familiar ceiling, only one thing came to my mind - Vijay. As I wasn't able to sleep, I kept thinking of my childhood days. But, after a while, a thought came to my mind which stole all my sleep for the night. If we had not moved out of that house, could I have saved Vijay? Without a doubt, I would have remained his friend and may be, he never would have been introduced to drugs. I later learnt that a rag picker who played marbles with him, introduced him to drugs. May be if we had remained friends, he would have never played with the rag picker. He was good at studies and may be would have become someone important today. I am sure that it would have been different if we had stayed there.
After a while, I realized another thing which left my mind blocked. For an event which has two possible outcomes, there was an equal probability of the other event occuring. What if I had stayed back there and what if both of us, me and Vijay had come in contact with the ragpicker? What if even I had become like Vijay? I cannot imagine what would have happened to my parents in that case. My grandfather was the most respected man in that street as he was a retired headmaster. What would have happened to him?
Stuck at this difficult thought, I felt, there is nothing beyond destiny. I realized that there is a divine power which is watching every move you make and knows what to make you do and when and how and to what extent. I would call it the God's way of giving a bad danger, a slip. I still feel bad for Vijay. May his soul, rest in peace. But, looking at the larger picture, God is great and he knows when exactly to change your lane. He changed mine and that is the truth. And it took 18 years for me to understand JUST ONE of HIS scheme of things.
And probably that's why all elders say, "Whatever happens, happens for good."
I shared a very special relationship with Vijay. He always let me have more marbles. He gave me whatever I asked including his tennis ball, his toys, his stickers, etc. In fact I remember, there was this bubble gum called BIG FUN which used to have a cricketer's photo inside the wrapper. Whenever we purchased two BIG FUNs, he let me keep his wrapper too. He liked me. Last memories that I have of him are that we, for the first time had gone to eat Pani Puri in front of Shanti theatre in Narayanguda and we shared 4 pani puris each for a rupee.
We had vacated the house in 1991. My paternal aunt and her family moved into the same house in 1994. And, I got a reason to visit that place again and again. During these visits which were as rare as once every 4 months, over the years only helped the distance between my old pals grow. In fact I remember when I was in the 9th Standard, Anand didn't even ask me to come in and spoke to me sticking his head out of the door for a minute and shut it. I never understood why people took some old friends so easily, but I didn't mind. Rahul was a bookworm and his mom never allowed him out of the house.
But this story is of a boy called Vijay Gangadhar. His affinity towards me made him come home everyday. Nobody in my house liked him as he was not a very disciplined child and they warned me against playing with him. But once out of the house, I was with him - always. He met me almost everytime I went to my Aunt's place - my old home. Until one day in 10th Standard, when I visited his place, I saw his dad beating him with a long cane. He hit him atleast 35 blows and kept abusing him. His mom came out to me and said, "Your friend has started stealing money from home. God knows what he is doing with that money." As Vijay lay moaning and crying in pain, his dad kept kicking him. I was scared. I walked away and kept thinking about it for many days. I never went to see him again.
Later, my aunt revealed that Vijay had started taking drugs and was caught with some local ragpickers. I was surprised because Vijay was sharp, he was good at school and was the fastest runner among all of us. I kept wondering what had happened of a cheerful young boy. My aunt warned me against meeting him and so did my dad when he came to know of this. I spoke to Praveen and asked him if he knew something about this. Praveen said, "After you left, we slowly stopped meeting. Anand's dad got richer and he left all of us. Rahul is with his books always. And my mom would kill me if I met Vijay. "
Years passed by and I only kept hearing from my aunt and my cousins how Vijay got into trouble multiple number of times. There were stories that he was caught many times sniffing chemicals, injecting drugs into his body, smoking weird leaves, etc. He would collapse on footpaths after strong doses, etc. Local police station visits were routine for him.
This was the time when I had given up thinking about Vijay. I felt he was a lost cause now and any contact with him will not be appreciated by my parents.
Many years later, in 2002, I had gone to watch a Telugu movie called 'Manmadhudu'. It was in Shanti theater, the same one where I had my first pani puri with Vijay. I looked at the pani puri man who had grown old and smiled to myself. In the interval, as I came out with my friend Sarathy, a lean, unshaved untidy man with a pale complexion walked upto us and asked for a match box. As my friend handed him the matches and he lit up his cigarette, I noticed that his pants were unzipped. I told him, "Boss, your zip". He held his cigarette in his mouth and pulled up his zip. I keenly observed this man and suddenly realized that it was my childhood friend Vijay. He was in tatters. His eyes were about to pop out. He was in a semi-conscious state. He didn't recognize me at all. But, I wanted to. Then, something at the back of my mind stopped me. I just observed him and saw that he was shivering and was taking long drags from his cigarettes. He lit up another one, said something to himself, made a couple of gestures to himself, nodded his head, said, "Thuuuu" and put his hand on his forehead and walked away.
I wanted to speak to him. But, I was scared. I do not know why I felt the need to avoid any conversation with him. Later that day, I called up Praveen who told me that Vijay had lost his sanity and was completely dependent on drugs. In fact, their family had shifted from that lane unable to bear the insults. Vijay had stopped recognizing people and only thing he lived for were drugs. Chemical, Natural, Medicinal of whichever way it comes - he was always high. Three rounds of rehabilitation had no impact on him. His father was tired of beating him up and had given up on him. Vijay's mother had told this story when she came to buy some gold ornament for her daughter. Praveen's father had told him the story over dinner one day.
The picture of my last meeting with Vijay stayed in my mind for a long time. In 2003, I got admission into an MBA course and as life was going good, one day in the newspaper I read a headline
20-year old dies of head injury. Drug Overdose suspected.
The article below this headline made no sense to me as I knew what would have happened. I felt bad for a while, but then, it had to happen.
8th July 2009.
6 years after this news and 18 years after we had left the old house, my cousin is getting married and I am here at my aunt's place - my old house. As I look up to the old familiar ceiling, only one thing came to my mind - Vijay. As I wasn't able to sleep, I kept thinking of my childhood days. But, after a while, a thought came to my mind which stole all my sleep for the night. If we had not moved out of that house, could I have saved Vijay? Without a doubt, I would have remained his friend and may be, he never would have been introduced to drugs. I later learnt that a rag picker who played marbles with him, introduced him to drugs. May be if we had remained friends, he would have never played with the rag picker. He was good at studies and may be would have become someone important today. I am sure that it would have been different if we had stayed there.
After a while, I realized another thing which left my mind blocked. For an event which has two possible outcomes, there was an equal probability of the other event occuring. What if I had stayed back there and what if both of us, me and Vijay had come in contact with the ragpicker? What if even I had become like Vijay? I cannot imagine what would have happened to my parents in that case. My grandfather was the most respected man in that street as he was a retired headmaster. What would have happened to him?
Stuck at this difficult thought, I felt, there is nothing beyond destiny. I realized that there is a divine power which is watching every move you make and knows what to make you do and when and how and to what extent. I would call it the God's way of giving a bad danger, a slip. I still feel bad for Vijay. May his soul, rest in peace. But, looking at the larger picture, God is great and he knows when exactly to change your lane. He changed mine and that is the truth. And it took 18 years for me to understand JUST ONE of HIS scheme of things.
And probably that's why all elders say, "Whatever happens, happens for good."
- Deepak Karamungikar
(My book, Love at first sight & other stories is now available online for purchase - Click here)
4 comments:
very personal narrative, true said, very true
Deepak,
good narration...
EveryOne should face good and bad things in their lives...but we need to decide which way is correct...Some decisions will give us sweet memories and some will give us bad memories...
human life is already decided by god , what should we do and what we should not...
Life is short we have to enjoy it by doing good things....
Anyways I purchased your book from ebay and enjoying reading of all the stories along with "Love at first sight"..
I like your narration..
Thanks,
Praveen Kumar
good one, quite true.in a week's time even I will be putting up my 100th post. By the way there is cup of brewing coffee waiting for you my friend at my blog...drop in and share thoughts over coffee cups.
I believe with your caption. The quote. "Whatever happens, happens for good."
I have no such anecdotes I can narrate on a public forum, no friend who lost track. But this has been my firm belief since my childhood( early teens I suppose) and life has a way of reiterating it for me. :)
"Whatever happens, happens for good."
J
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