Teenage Diaries - 'The woman'

Every guy during his teenage comes across women who remain in his mind forever. Some of them for their sex appeal, some for their physical beauty, some for their magical eyes, some for their smile and some simply because they are unforgettable. It was in 1995 that I first saw this woman.  She was tall, slim and had curves that could put a precision geometric compass to shame.

Right from the school going adolescent till the old men, al of them used to ogle at her as she graced the streets of my colony. Scooters would slow down, bicycles would stop to look at the wonder that walked the streets. But the most unbelievable thing about her was, she had a son in secondary school. And her daughter, was in high school. Nobody would have ever belived it.

Anyway, soon her daughter grew up and was in college. In the evenings, when the mother and daughter, one more beautiful than the other seemed like two sisters. Many youngsters, from all classes of the society were now behind this girl. Everybody wanted to give her a lift, befriend her, propose to her and a few, just wanted to see her. But then, she never responded to any of them. In this matter, she was as strict as God was on himself, while he crafted her.

From about 2003 onwards, I started spending less time in the colony. I had an MBA to deal with. Only ocassionally, the mother or the daughter or both together were seen - but when they did, they lived up to their reputation. One day in 2004, my last year in the colony, I got a news that the girl was getting married. On 26th December, the day Tsunami struck, we moved out of the colony. I never saw any of them again.

Yesterday, I was getting late to office and there was a huge traffic jam, I took a short cut from inside my good old colony. And coincidentally, turned inside the same lane where they lived. For just one second, when I glanced towards their home, I saw, a very cute young lad, about three years old swinging on the rusty gate which made a creaking sound. And feeding him morsels, was his mother. And standing by their side, was his grandmother. Both of them still looked like sisters. The daughter may have gained a few negligible pounds in course of her motherhood. But the grandmother, was exactly as she looked in 1995. There was no change. None whatsoever.

The only change was that the way I looked at them had changed. Now, a shabbily colored excel sheet was running in my head. I turned my head and drove away.

Sense of Humor

As long as there are pretentious and workaholic people around us, good sense of humor is soon going to be extinct. It's not the lack of it that bothers me. What bothers me is the quality. The other day I overheard two s/w engineers speaking to each other. The dialogue went like this, "Abe yaar, spouse ka female kya hota hai...". The other one replied, "Spice" and they both laughed as if Tim Sidell has just finished telling them three hundred jokes. It is for moments like these, that the phrase, "Fuck my life" was invented. 

Coming to movies. Especially in Telugu movies, sense of humor is great.. In the 1980s, a man called Jandhyala revolutionized Telugu comedy. I also consider him one of the greatest directors of all time. But of late, men who think they are funny have terra-fucked the comedy scene. I think it isn't their mistake either. The other day, I was watching a Telugu movie in a theater and there was a drunk man slapping another and half the people in the theater were laughing their asses off. On another occasion, in a scene where a man was hit with a stone on his forehead and he started crying. For this scene, people almost fell off seat. See, this is where the problem lies. Even Hindi movies somehow fail to be funny. Simply fail. 

After any insurance professional, the worst jokes ever are told at office team lunches. One such epic facepalm joke I heard while dining at Alex's Kitchen. A group of about seven came and occupied a long table along a corner. One of them said, "Ok, let's start the meeting. Aanad, note down minutes of the meeting" and they all burst out laughing. I wanted to throw the hot noodle soup on his face and walk away but our constitution came in my way. 

Sense of humor displayed by good trainers is always of the highest quality unless it is insurance. In my first job at an insurance company (which I quit in 2 months and have been abusing that industry ever since), a trainer told me the most disgusting joke of my life. It  was about a man shitting in his pants while trying to escape form a tiger in a jungle. I remember one of my colleagues laugh hysterically at that joke. That was the last I saw that trainer, but his joke still puts me off when I think of it. 

At office outings, ghettoization begins even before the bus for the venue arrives. There are people who have fun, there are those who crib and complain, there are those who eat and sleep and then there are those who keep thinking of work and discuss projects even when you are supposed to kick some ass. Beyond all of them, there are the ones who just find a tree, sit under it and hadn't enjoyed a joke since Ant and Elephant jokes were invented. They are as clueless as a pubic hair stranded on a public urinal waiting for something to take it down. These are the poeple who need help. They need to learn to laugh, to live, to have a great time while you are here as rightly suggested by a Hindi song 

"Haste Haste, kat jaaye raste, zindagi yun hi chalti rahe...khushi mile ya gham, badlenge naa hum....duniya chaahe badalti rahe!"

I laugh for 10 mins at least everyday. Do you?

- Deepak Karamungikar

Short Film: 'The Courier'

The Courier
Written & Directed by Deepak Karamungikar

Smile Life-cycle in the IT Industry (Click to enlarge)